“Of course, things get back on track the moment the action begins again, because this overpowered badass is so entertaining to play. But what occasionally brings Blood Dragon's pace to a halt most is its cutscenes – the 16-bit story scenes have a habit of overstaying their welcome. Certain gags get reused more often than would be ideal, which can stall the comedic momentum. It isn't able to keep the A-material jokes coming the whole time, though. These silly mission objectives, which reference everything from Die Hard and D20s to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Aliens, are a rare delight in first-person shooters. Knowingly awful writing, rich with eye-rolling puns and delightfully inappropriate profanity, is a reminder that the dopey dialogue of ‘80s action movies is still a special sort of hilarious. He doesn’t get tired from running at inhuman speeds, he doesn’t need air to breathe, he can survive any fall, and he rattles off more one-liners than a Paul Verhoeven anthology – all to the tune of a groovy synth soundtrack. The hero, cyborg commando Rex Power Colt, has no limits. Or my mind at age 25, honestly: These are action figures and super-powers come to life for an action-packed six-hours of open-world first-person shooting. It's like entering the imagination of a nine-year-old boy. Blood Dragon is philosophically, tonally, and mechanically the fundamental opposite of its straight-faced predecessors.
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